JAPANESQUE

My grandfather passed away on Friday, 19th January, 2007, a day short of his 90th birthday.

The wake was not entirely a sob-fest, considering that he was 89 and his obituary read 72 descendents - children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren galore.

The long line we formed at the funeral procession attracted many a gaze from the shopkeepers lining the streets in the small town. My extended family and i were also barely able to squeeze into the old school yellow school bus on our way back from the cemetery.

It was a traditional Chinese Buddhist wake spanning 4days and 3 nights, where the children of the deceased wore white tops and black pants while we, the grandchildren wore blue. The great grandchildren all had to wear green.

During the breaks between prayer sessions, the adults would look on while more than a dozen "green" and a handful of "blue" toddlers played on the mats in the front porch.

My grandfather had a favourite spot on the front porch facing the main road. Many a chinese new year, we'll drive up the slope greeted by the familiar sight of him sitting on his favourite old school multi-coloured plastic stripped chair waiting for us to come back.

That was the perfect vantage point to watch the children play that night.

My cousin and i reminisced that if he was still around, he be sure as hell heartened by that sight. We were surprisingly able to say all that dry-eyed.

Well, it must have been the cheery noise of the childrens' play that diluted all that nostalgia and sadness as i find myself tearing only now as i recall that conversation and scene.

All my life, i've spent my new years in that small town.

Well, yes i gripe about the measly ringgit in my ang baos.

And yes, i may at times gripe about the mosquitoes, cement floors and ancient toilets with poor heating.

But Chinese New Years would be so different without all these!

To put it simply, i wouldn't noe what to do if i couldn't spend my new years there anymore.

That, we're afraid might eventually be the case since my grandfather is no longer around and no one wants to stay in that old house. Gone are both the physical and metaphorical drawing point.

Many of us dun wan that to happen. At the very least i can say that for sure for my family.

so please let us all still be able to go back for all the chinese new years to come.

i want my kids to experience chinese new year the way me and my siblings and my cousins. the whole very big happy family.

Lets hope my wai gong can find some way to make sure of that. tho i doubt he understands English and reads my blog haha

we'll miss you wai gong.