JAPANESQUE

the world's gone come kerr-rashing down.

bazaar was worst fuck ever. earned a teeetotal of twenty farking eight bucks.
maybe im just nt cut out for this jewelry mking stuff huh. site traffic is nt picking up. stuff nt selling. i think im the only one who thinks my stuff are nice.

results like fuck. dun even think about honours, bitch. din even do attachment this hols. how? hello bleak future. hello to miserable pay and lousy job, future of climbing ladder aft ladder.and gettin no where.

i am a positive person. but my positivity has worn thin. i keep toking to myself, that things will be okay. everything will be fine. but i keep doing that until i have nothing to say to myself, that my words are beginning to sound futile. and all i can fall back on is myself again. isnt that encouraging. how much longer can i depend on my waning mental strength.

not much, im afraid.

because postitvity brought me nowhere. for so fucking long. n its nt like im just sitting here doing nothing about it. bloody hell im not. i try.n try n try n try. and hello. i need some encouragement. somewhere. show my some trying helps. that some of my trying reaps some fucking thing. but no. nothing. just try n try n nothing.

or gets worst. try n try n get worst. den how? do so many things for fark.
everything also half-fucked.

DND: sensing unhappiness with my performance soon.
sales effort: wad sales. hello gooods lying around at home. hello low site traffic. put up everything also nothing sells. who am i kidding. wasting my own fucking time.
sch work: haha. lala. just not cut out for academics? den wad the fuck am i good at. no-fucking-thing.
friendship: i think i have fewer and fewer frens. coz i make myself too fucking busy rite,no time to care about pple. no time for them. coz im too fucking busy. so fucking busy i dun even have time for myself. ya so its my fucking fault. everything. i landed myself in this shit. trying to reach heights i can never be at, losing pple and things in the process. oh, hello birthday party. how fun it was to write happy birthday to myself. quote: " why u dun hv frens helping u out?" oh well, im too busy to be there for my frens so no body lor. i really brought all these to myself. isnt it far fucking easier to put all the blame on me. since im going down anyway. just all the blame, fault on me. theres not need to bother anymore. it doesnt seem like anythings gonna come up anytime soon ain't it? its okay, its alright. wad the FUCK.

i really brought everything to myself. trying so hard for everything yet nuthing seems to yield. in fact making pple infuriated, agitated and disappointed in the process. i really dun feel the love ya'all. but all i can think of is blaming myself. maybe my trying just is not enuff rite? im not doing anything right, rite? im messed up, fucked up. loser.shit and pit hole.

go no where. just lie down here and stare at evrybody else achieving heights. lose ur frens they think u dun care enuff, dun put effort at all. yeap. all my bet. coz im fucked up. thats why. lalala. messy messsy messyy fucked up.

go home n stare at ur unsold goods baby, things only u think is nice. self diluded crazy shit. wads is there to do now? keep trying? okay. ill do that. n get no results.

but u BItCH. wad the else fuck can u do. mop ard? yeah i like that. rot and become a fat rotten potato. oh wait. u are alrdy fat. okay rotten potato fuck.

no. dun be a fucking idiot. mopping will get u nowhere.

eh. but wads gonna get u anywhere. u jus cannot make it la okay.

give up.

get used to it.


fucked up shit.