JAPANESQUE

its only monday n i feel like im breaking down.is it me or are there ten thousand pple breathing down my neck.pushing me to meet deadlines.pushing me to pack meetings,rehearsals,work back to back to back. i have to accommodate.but shld i ask for accommodation too?i dun dare everybody's busy.there are ten thousand million things to do.dun keep reminding me.dun push me. i may keel over.dun push me i will do it.i will do it before the deadline.lemme plan my time. dun rush me. dun ask me if im okay. im not okay. but i cant stop now. i cant afford to waste any more time. if i break down everything will be gone.everything to be done will be left undone. and then ill disappoint. and ill break down some more. i need space. but i cant afford to take any space yet. im in a terrible state. how can i act properly like this? how can i do my work properly? i cant cry. ill be wasting my time when there are ten thousand million things to do. i shldnt complain, i shldnt gripe, i shldnt whine i shldn't swear becoz everybody's fucking busy too. i can't expect pple to care becoz evrybody's got their own shit to gripe about, own ass to cover. there's not enough time n its not like i haven planned my time. its not like i have been slacking. wad kind of fucking system is this. no wonder pple commit suicide. my god. wad an emo post! but its just a little more strength i need. 2 moremths, one more week. at least things will get better. i need strength to focus my thoughts on work only. i need my laptop to function. i need my brain to function. i need discipline. i need accommodation. i need to do things well. i need to control my emotions and temper. im sorry to those iyelled at, or seemed unbothered with. lemme be done w my ten thousand million things first okay. sorry.